Can I just say I am one of the most blessed people in the world. Honestly, today I was pondering my life and wondering WHAT in the world I did to enjoy the life I do.
1. I was born into a loving, functional family. Sure, we have our disagreements, quirks, and maybe an odd great uncle or two but still.......wow!!! No ridiculously huge family fall outs, drug or alcohol problems, abuse of any kind. Just love and support. How rare is that in this day and age?!?! I flip through the TV channels and see all these "families" sharing unkind words, hiding secrets, and trying to deal with serious and damaging issues. It makes me realize that my "normal" family is now among the few and strange. When I'm with my family, I feel nothing but happiness and surety that, no matter what, I am welcomed and accepted with open arms. My home is a heaven on Earth.
2. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Not only was I born into a loving functional family, I was born into a family that has the gospel. What is more vital or important then the Lord and this gospel of Jesus Christ? That's right...absolutely nothing and I've been taught its truths my WHOLE LIFE!!!! Again, HOW many people in this world get that privilege? Shoot, how many people EVER born get this privilege? It still blows my mind. Sometimes, I wonder if the Lord knew I might not be strong enough to seek out the church on my own. Of course, I could just be to hard on myself but regardless I am forever in his debt for yet another reason. The beliefs held by my family shaped the way I was raised and, in turn, shaped the Erica I know today. I would not be where I am or who I am without my upbringing or the beautiful knowledge of the teachings of the church. I have a testimony of this gospel and my parent's (and sibling's) examples were there to nurture it from the beginning. I am one of those lucky seeds planted deep in rich soil and that has been an absolutely precious blessing. I understand Jesus Christ, the atonement, and the principle of repentance. I have been baptized and have the companionship of the Holy Ghost. I get to be with my current family forever and will be sealed in the temple to my future family as well. I know, no matter what, I will always have a Father in heaven who loves and talks to me. I can listen to a modern day prophet, read my patriarchal blessing, study scriptures, or pray to receive revelation, comfort, or guidance. I know more truth then some of the smartest men alive on this Earth. The gospel is amazing.
3. I was born in a great nation, one which values freedom (or agency). I can worship how I please, live what I believe, and become whatever I want if I do the work to get there. So I have the ability to choose my future. However, I also have the means. My family may not be millionaires (very middle class) but compared to the world, they are one of the wealthiest families alive! According to the globalrichlist, top 0.1%. Still, even if its not that high, it's WAY above most of the world. 85% of the world population lives on less then $6 dollars a day!!! I have soooo much. Food, shelter, a bed, blankets and pillows, clean water, electricity, heat, air conditioning, clothes, shoes, lights, beauty products, tampons (thinking of life without that luxury makes me shudder), books, movies, music, medicine, computers, internet, phones and a starting job that pays me more then $6 IN A SINGLE HOUR!!! Sometimes, I think to myself "I'm such a poor college student." What a contridiction that is - poor and college student. You can't truly be both which brings me to my next point.
4. I'm receiving a great education. In 2010, less then 7% of the adult world population had a college degree. I get to be one of those people. What's even more ridiculous is how little I had to work for it!! I was encouraged to go to college, offered loans, grants, and scholarships. There are kids around the world that dream of being where I am, work their hides off to save money, and still are never able to go. Why am I so special? I can be considered among the world's educated and understand the things around me. I can work in a field I enjoy and contribute to society in a powerful way. I have the ability to provide for myself or family if needed and to better teach my children.
5. I have a beautiful, working body. Sure, there are days I feel fat or think my feet are too big. Time to get over myself. I sit here typing with my own two hands something I was able to think with my own working brain. I can breath without feeling any pain, I can run to meet a friend. I get to make things with my hands and feel the bliss that comes from recieving a good back massage. I get to play tennis with my friends and feel the wind on my face when I go swing on a playground. I get to jump, and drive, and kiss, and live without constant pain. My body works effortlessly. There is so much going on. In one second - I breath in oxygen, make new proteins, fight off diseases, form millions of red blood cells, fire neurons in my brain, let my muscles contract, digest fat in my small intestine, have my heart beat without consciously telling it too. The human body is one of the Lord's greatest and most complex masterpieces ever. It does so much and we don't have to think about it. And mine works!!! Out of all the thousands of serious minute things that could go wrong and cause disability (even one misread codon among the billions) none of them did!!! The chances of all these things working together so beautifully is ridiculous. We are each walking miracles.
6. Stephen. Were getting married in the Temple in 47 days. I feel like, again, I was blessed beyond what I deserved. I wasn't even looking and I found him. He holds the priesthood, is a return missionary, and loves the Lord and me more then anything else. He is a son of God and my very best friend. I get to share the eternities with him. I've never been happier. Every day is a joy and I love that boy a little bit more. What a blessing it is to grow to love someone more then you love yourself!! It feels like.......a light bulb deep inside me turns on when I think about him and suddenly its bright enough to light up the whole room and more. I feel warm and so so joyful and all I want is his happiness.
The blessings continue. Some days I pray, absolutely filled with dread that something MUST be about to go wrong. My life is full of too much good. Most nights right before I go to bed, I imploringly ask God to keep my family and friends safe yet another day. Losing a loved one is my biggest fear. I've requested this regularly for many years. And I do know that, even with my asking, death and pain are a part of life and have (and will again) come my way. Yet, as a whole, those afflictions present in the hard times have been overshadowed by the vast amount of time on this Earth that has been free of such heartaches. I think I sometimes forget that the Lord doesn't want to make this life difficult. He wants to bless us a million times over, just like any loving parent wishes they could do everything for their child.
I'm sorry if you read this whole thing and thought my blabberings were simply a waste of time. I'm not sure why I felt the pressing need to blog these somewhat personal thoughts but I did and so I have. Maybe it was just good to remind myself. I've found that since we're so constantly blessed, it's easy to forget to actually look at our life and instead we just live in it. Stop for a minute and put things into perspective. We are loved and blessed a million times over. Even in our darkest of times, we have so much light. It's a matter of choosing not to be blinded to it.
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